Highly Sensitive People Logo Porpourri
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In this section, we present book recommendations, HSP-related events, and some of our favorite quotes for HSPs.

First off, we want to tell you about and recommend Dr. Elaine Aron's yearly East and West Coast HSP Gatherings. For more information, visit Dr. Aron's website  www.hsperson.com.

Some ideas and concepts we think are relevant to highly sensitive people and Non-HSPs alike...

"The only way you know you love yourself or anyone else is by the commitments you are willing make and keep."

"Bad habits are easy to form, but hard to live with; good habits are hard to form, but easy to live with."

"You have a choice: The pain of discipline, or the pain of regret." (You're going to pay, one way or the other.)

"Don't spend major time with minor people."

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

Here's a quote by Margaret Mead that applies to HSPs:

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed. It is the only thing that ever has."

One final important thought, and good words to live by, that we hear regularly at Dr. Pat Allen's wonderful seminars:

"Beware of your words for they become your actions, beware of your actions for they become your habits, beware of your habits for they become your character, beware of your character for it becomes your destiny."


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  BOOKSHELF


We'd like to recommend some books Bunch o' Books Imagethat explore the Trait of High Sensitivity. If a book interests you, you can bring up descriptive information from our partner Amazon.com by clicking on the title. And remember that anything you buy at Amazon directly benefits the Highly Sensitive People organization and helps get the word out.

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The Highly Sensitive Person

This is the flagship book that defined the term "Highly Sensitive Person." Do you have a keen imagination and vivid dreams? Is time alone each day as essential to you as food and water? Are you "too shy" or "too sensitive" according to others? And do noise and confusion quickly overwhelm you? If you answered yes, you're probably a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), and author Elaine Aron — who's a psychotherapist, researcher, and an HSP herself — delves deep to into the subject to show you how to use your trait to your advantage, and minimize the downside. Absolutely recommended reading for both HSPs and non-HSPs alike.

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The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You

Picking up where The Highly Sensitive Person left off, Aron explores the sometimes bumpy terrain that love relationships have to offer this group of people. The special characteristics of the HSP, which tend to be misunderstood as shyness and dismissed as signs of weakness in our highly competitive society, inevitably bring interesting challenges to all kinds of love relationships for HSPs. Detailed, helpful, wise advice for HSPs and their partners.

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The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them

In this book Aron shifts her focus to highly sensitive children, who face unique challenges as they grow up. Born deeply reflective, sensitive to the subtle, and easily overwhelmed, HSCs have qualities that can make for smart, conscientious, creative children, but with the wrong parenting or schooling, they can become unusually shy or timid, or begin acting out. Your child may often be mislabeled as overly inhibited, fearful, or "fussy," or classified as a problem child, or even misdiagnosed with disorders such as Attention Deficit Disorder. Parents will find helpful self-tests and case studies, along with thorough advice on:

  • The challenges of raising an highly sensitive child
  • The four keys to successfully parenting an HSC
  • How to soothe highly sensitive infants
  • Helping sensitive children survive in a not-so-sensitive world
  • Making school and friendships enjoyable
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The Undervalued Self: Restore Your Love/Power Balance

Dr. Aron expands on her view of HSPs by focusing here on the issue of self-esteem, which in her view arises from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. She sees the advantages of responding with love in those situations that seem to demand the exercise of power, and shows how many power struggles mask themselves as issues of love. The book presents strategies to free ourselves from those constraints that work to limit our potential, to overcome emotions of shame, defeat and depression, and deal with hostility in relationships. It's a simple and provocative guide to developing enduring self-worth which can insure healthy, fulfilling relationships. Even if you don't undervalue yourself, this book offers insights in effectively communicating with those who do.

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Are You Really Too Sensitive?: How to Understand and Develop Your Sensitivity As the Strength It Is

Awareness is the key to self-understanding, and to inner peace to those who feel different from other people. What this book will help you understand is that difference is a gift, not a weakness. That awareness will help you to bring your gifts into balance, and to learn to trust your intuition. If people insist you're weird or too sensitive, you will find this book very reassuring and supportive.

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Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast, Too Tight: What to Do If You Are Sensory Defensive in an Overstimulating World

Do you get irritated (or lose it!) over stimuli that other people seem to tolerate without difficulty, or do you know such a person? This is the book for you. Other books deal with sensory integration in children, but this is the only book that addresses sensory defensiveness as a problem in adults. Among the many strongpoints of the book are its discussions about how sensory defensiveness can be misdiagnosed as other disorders, aspects of living with sensory defensiveness, and tips on how you can improve your ability to cope. The only miss about the book is the five-color dust jacket — it's a little on the busy side! Of course, if you're an HSP you can always just lose the dust jacket.

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The Sensitive Person's Survival Guide: An Alternative Health Answer to Emotional Sensitivity & Depression

If you're a sensitive person with any sort of empathic experiences, you will be fascinated by this book. The idea that this empathic ability might contribute to recurring depression was a mind-blower, but immediately obvious once it was pointed out. If you share this book with your non-sensitive friends and family members, however, be prepared to endure skepticism and even ridicule. It's pretty "out there" for people who haven't had similar experiences.

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Are You Really Too Sensitive?: How to Understand and Develop Your Sensitivity As the Strength It Is

Over and over, people I've counseled have been so relieved to know that although they are "different" there is nothing wrong with them. Many sensitives live with this feeling that deep down something is off kilter, but this book will help you understand that your difference is a gift — not a disability. It is just a matter of bringing your gifts of into balance. You will find validation from picking up from others and it will teach you how to trust your intuition. You might say this book is a sensitive's bible.

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The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide: Essential Skills for Living Well in an Overstimulating World

To be truly at peace, an HSP must learn how to manage your increased volume of sensory experience, both physical and emotional stimulation. This accessible, practical guide contains strategies that help you master this critical skill and outlines coping techniques. It's filled with tips for reducing the influence of provocative sensory experiences, such as excessive light and noise in the home and office. Meditation and relaxation techniques will help you to reduce the anxiety caused by heightened sensitivity. And easy-to-follow exercises guide you through the challenges of communicating and interacting with others in both social and intimate relationships.

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The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World

"Introverts are like a rechargeable battery. They need to stop expending energy and rest in order to recharge. Extroverts are like solar panels that need the sun to recharge. Extroverts need to be out and about to refuel." Marti Olsen Laney explains how introverts create energy in the opposite way extroverts do. Are you often drained of all energy after spending extended periods with people? Do you have more insights alone, than in a group setting? This is an encouraging book for anyone who has felt the pain of being an introvert in an extrovert world or fumbled for something to say at a loud party.

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The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

Tolle introduces readers to enlightenment and its natural enemy, the mind. He awakens readers to their role as a creator of pain and shows them how to have a pain-free identity by living fully in the present. Living in the now may not seem stunningly original or fresh, but Tolle is able to explain this seemingly simple concept in concrete language in showing how thoughts and emotions get in the way of your abiity to live in genuine happiness, and stop being weighed down by the past or fearful of the future. The Power of Now reads like the highly acclaimed A Course in Miracles — a guidebook with the potential to inspire study groups and change lives for the better. Oprah says, "The POWER OF NOW can transform your thinking. The result? More joy, right now."

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The Tao of Equus: A Woman's Journey of Healing and Transformation through the Way of the Horse

The title translates as "the way of the horse" and this book explores the possibility that horses are highly evolved, spiritual beings who offer humans opportunities for healing and personal growth. Horses awaken intuition in humans while also mirroring our unspoken feelings and fears. It reminds us to be mindful as we approach the horse-human relationship. Like human-to-human relationships, we have to do our own personal and spiritual work before we can expect to create a meaningful and cooperative interspecies connection. Kohanov isn't shy about claiming a strong feminine approach and showing how mythology and history are filled with examples of powerful woman-horse connections.

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The Gifted Adult: A Revolutionary Guide for Liberating Everyday Genius

Twenty million Americans are "gifted adults" with an amalgam of intellectual abilities and personality and character traits that indicate high potential, a concept of a new kind of intelligence which Jacobsen dubs Evolutionary Intelligence. Statistically, many gifted adults are baby boomers (a notion that is likely to appeal to them). Creative thinking, enthusiasm, playfulness, intuition, curiosity, humor, independence, multiple talents and a sense of justice — you have a gift of being different, if sometimes misunderstood. Jacobsen provides useful advice about responding to common criticisms, such as of perfectionism and sensitivity, and overcoming blocks to development and effective decision-making.

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Getting to "I Do"

Do you want it all? Or are you willing to compromise? Are you comfortable with the idea that rejecting someone can be an act of love? Pat counsels you that tolerating an uncomfortable situation can adversely affect your health. Either accept or reject, both are acts of love. Pat has over 40 years of experience counseling singles and couples in how to communicate authentically and honestly, what they each want and don't want in a relationship. It's the only way to achieve true intimacy. Even if you're not aiming for the Altar, you can put these principles to work in your romantic relationships, and in your family and business relationships as well. She will show you how to identify both your masculine and feminine energies, and how to apply each appropriately to any situation.

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Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps: How We're Different and What to Do About It

"To get a man to listen, give him advance notice and provide an agenda," write the husband-and-wife Peases in this pithy, attention-grabbing guide to the differences between men and women, and especially HSPs. Brain research, theories from evolutionary biology and a trove of anecdote collected during a three-year research trip around the world back up the Peases' claim that a woman's brain is wired to be able to speak and listen simultaneously, while men need to clam up in order to think to solve problems. As hunters men evolved tunnel focus, while as women needed broad peripheral vision and sensitive relationship skills to attend the family. If you man seems uncommunicative at times, remember, his forefathers spent more than a million years sitting expressionless on a rock surveying the horizon for danger. Give him space and accept the fact that channel surfing and newspaper skimming are modern ways for your man to tune into his issues.

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The Alchemy of Love and Lust

It's dangerous to blame too many of our behaviors and tendencies on raging hormones. We are, after all, creatures of free will. But after reading Theresa Crenshaw's book, you'll never again see your will as being all that free. She offers an encyclopedic review of our attachment-related hormones — describing biochemicals and pheromones as though they were intimate friends, telling us exactly what they are and exactly what modern science thinks they do. This is a potent guide to what we can do to get our internal chemistry functioning the way we want it to and keep our relationships with others vibrant.

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You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation

Baffled by his behavior, his posturing, his missed understanding? Relationships are based on communication. Deborah Tannen's focus is not just on language, but on how communication styles either facilitate or hinder personal interactions. Men and women use different communication styles, and here's a clear understanding of how verbalizing works between the sexes, with examples from linguists, sociologists and movies and novels. Once you know the cause-and-effect of different conversational styles, you can now build bridges in understanding and enhance your relationships with the opposite sex.

And here's another book we can highly recommend:

Chopped Liver for the Loving Spirit Image - Click for more information Now available,  Chopped Liver for the Loving Spirit by Jim Hallowes...and Friends, including the chapter "Loving Highly Sensitive People" about the trait of high sensitivity.  Chopped Liver for the Loving Spirit is a collection of stories including chapters by actor Dick Van Patten, Comedian Fred Travalena, and Heisman Trophy winner Les Horvath, and many others. Paperback, 272 pages. Published by Best-Seller Books. Click here to purchase it from the On-Line Gift Store.

Come visit our HSP Products Store on CafePress for even more custom gift items for yourself and other Highly Sensitive People!



Ground Zero Photo
 

Old GloryIn Memory of a very dear friend, Michael E. Tinley, who was at work on the 100th floor of the North Tower at the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001. Here is my "Ground Zero" photo that I took from the observation deck of the Empire State Building the first weekend it was open to the public and what was also the first day of "America's War on Terrorism," October 7, 2001.



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