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~ With Jim Hallowes, the Founder of Highly Sensitive People ~
Here are some thoughts when it comes
to relationships. First, a suggestion: Take it slowly. We'll say it again,
because we think it's that important. Take it slowly! One thing we hear over and over again is that some
Highly Sensitive People have a habit of moving their romantic relationships
along a little too fast. It seems that women who are highly sensitive may be
harmed by this more than highly sensitive men, but highly sensitive men aren't immune, either.
We think it's probably because people with the trait of high sensitivity are so
often very intuitive and they feel a new relationship is "right" and may tend to
get intimate (sexually) too quickly. Unfortunately, often times "Mr. or Ms.
Right" turns out to really be "Mr. or Ms. Wrong." And, when highly sensitive
people move their relationships along too quickly and get intimate too soon, and
because of the hormone Oxytocin, younger women and older men often find themselves
"bonded" to a not-so-nice person. We hope this has never happened to you, but if
you've "been there and done that" you know what we're talking about.
So, again our advice is: Take it slowly! Next time, please consider taking it much slower and consider really applying your HSP's "pause-to-check" characteristic to these situations!
We think it may be because highly sensitive people process deeply and are so feeling-based that they tend to get physically involved with the new person in their life well before they really get to know them. Just as importantly, before the new person in their life can get to know them and recognize them as being highly sensitive. It takes time to develop the knowledge to navigate successfully and create a harmonious relationship, a relationship respecting, understanding and accepting each others; different traits, characteristics and temperament, whatever they might be. In addition, we also recommend you consider looking for equity in a relationship, rather than equality, and look for someone who complements your personality. Let's hear it for Yin and Yang!
HSP "Meetup" in West L.A.
You are invited to our HSP "Meetups" in Los Angeles are held on the 3rd
Wednesday. To find out more about
the L.A. Meetups visit the Internet Links page and click on the Highly
Sensitive People Meetup link to learn more, sign up and join our HSP
Meetup group, and to RSVP for our next "Meetup." I'm also a Certified ASR™ Educator of the WANT® lnstitute and fully trained in Androgynous Semantic Realignment (ASR),™ Dr. Pat Allen's trademarked system of language and communication, so I'm certified to discuss her work, too.
Please note that Dr. Pat Allen's legal counsel has sent me a letter and has directed me to state here that: "The WANT® Institute is not affiliated with this website/newsletter and does not sponsor or endorse the content of this website/newsletter or the services of Jim Hallowes." and "ASR (Androgenous Semantic Realignment) is a trademark of the WANT® Institute."
We meet at the new SHARE Center, 6666 Green Valley Circle, Culver City, CA 90230 across the 405 Freeway from the Hughes Center, 8:00 p.m. until 9:30 p.m. Suggested $10 donation is appreciated to help pay for the room.
(Map to SHARE Center)
These are sure to be interesting evenings learning about and discussing the trait of high sensitivity. If you're an HSP, they'll be evenings of learning to understand yourself better, and if you're a Non-HSP you'll learn how to better understand the Highly Sensitive People in your life. And, because HSPs make up about 20% of the population, you are sure to come into contact with many of them, so why not make the most of those relationships; social, business and romantic.
These are sure to be interesting evenings learning about and discussing the trait of high sensitivity. If you're an HSP, they'll be evenings of learning to understand yourself better, and if you're a Non-HSP you'll learn to better understand the Highly Sensitive People in your life. And, because HSPs make up about 20% of the population, you are sure to come into contact with many of them, so why not make the most of those relationships; social, business and romantic.
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~ With Jim Hallowes, Founder of Highly Sensitive People ~
Some Advice for the Highly Sensitive Guy.
One piece of advice we give to all the single HSP guys we counsel is that it's important to have a well-rehearsed favorite
"opening line," such as "What brings you there tonight?" and we suggest that you
have it well-prepared and rehearsed, because that way while your HSP mind is
processing the all incoming data about the lady you see, you can say something
to her before she's already halfway down the block!
Also guys, we strongly suggest you have a prepared favorite "closing line" at the ready, too. Something as simple as "I've enjoyed meeting you, can we do it again?" Because when you have a favorite closing line, ready at hand, you can deliver it before the valet has the time to put the lady in her car and she's half way home.
As Dr. Pat Allen and her co-author Don Schmincke explain in their new book The Truth About Men Will Set You Free...but first it'll p*ss you off! (available through Amazon.com), "Oddly enough, some guys are afraid to pursue a female or even show they are interested, and this especially true for highly sensitive guys, and this frustrates women."
I'm happy to say that in the preparation of their manuscript, I was asked to contribute my thoughts about some of the problems sensitive guys experience in relating to the opposite sex, which they incorporated into the book. In fact, they even asked me to write the Foreword! Thank you, Pat and Don!
I'll repeat it again for you highly sensitive single guys: Have well-rehearsed opening and closing lines at the ready, and when you see someone of interest, use them!
I also recommend this DVD from Therapist Dr. Pat Allen. Good relationship advice from a Cognitive Behavior Therapist who also happens to be a Highly Sensitive Person...
The book Chopped Liver for the
Loving Spirit by Jim Hallowes ...and Friends, includes the chapter "Loving Highly Sensitive People" about the trait of high sensitivity.
Chopped Liver for the Loving Spirit is a collection of stories including chapters
by actor Dick Van Patten, Comedian Fred Travalena, and Heisman Trophy winner Les Horvath, and many others.
Paperback, 272 pages. Published by Best-Seller Books.
Click here to learn more about it from the On-Line HSP Gift Store.
Our hope is that with additional knowledge and insights about the trait of being highly sensitive, you will be more aware, informed and in tune to what are often predictable behavior patterns. We wish you the best of luck! And, we'd love to hear from you and get your thoughts and feelings on this important subject of relationships.
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