Here are some thoughts when it comes to relationships. First, a suggestion: Take it slowly. We'll say it again, because we think it's that important. Take it  slowly! One thing we've hear over and over again is that some Highly Sensitive People have a habit of moving their romantic relationships along a little too fast. It seems that women who are highly sensitive may be harmed by this more than highly sensitive men, but they aren't immune, either. We think it's probably because people with the trait of high sensitivity are so often very intuitive and they feel a new relationship is "right" and may tend to get intimate (sexually) too quickly. Unfortunately, often times "Mr. or Ms. Right" turns out to really be "Mr. or Ms. Wrong." And, when highly sensitive people move their relationships along too quickly and get intimate too soon, and because of hormone Oxytocin, younger women and older men often find themselves "bonded" to a not-so-nice person. We hope this has never happened to you, but if you've "been there and done that" you know what we're talking about.

So, again our advice is: Take it slowly!  Next time, please consider taking it much slower and consider really applying your HSP's "pause-to-check" characteristic to these situations!

We think it may be because highly sensitive people process deeply and are so feeling-based that they tend to get physically involved with the new person in their life well before they really get to know them. Just as importantly, before the new person in their life can get to know them and recognize them as being highly sensitive. It takes time to develop the knowledge to navigate successfully and create a harmonious relationship, a relationship respecting, understanding and accepting each others; different traits, characteristics and temperament, whatever they might be. In addition, we also recommend you consider looking for equity in a relationship, rather than equality, and look for someone who complements your personality. Let's hear it for Yin and Yang!

HSP "Meetup" in West L.A. on Wednesday, Aug. 20, 7:45-9:30 p.m.

Note: I will no longer be giving my Highly Sensitive People talks in Newport Beach on the first Tuesday of each month because we're now doing the Dr. Pat Allen "WANT^® Training" Classes for Coaches and Therapists. I invite you to visit Dr. Pat Allen's website www.drpatallen.com to learn more and to register for this series of classes that so many people have been wanting. And good news, the Institute is a recognized a 501(c)(3) Non-Profit Educational tax deductible Organization!

Our HSP "Meetups" in Los Angeles are held on the 3rd Wednesday of each month 7:45pm until 9:30pm. To find out more about the L.A. Meetups visit the Internet Links page and click on the Highly Sensitive People Meetup link to learn more, sign up and join our Meetup group, and to RSVP.

We meet at the SHARE center, 5521 Grosvenor Blvd., in the Marina del Rey area, 7:45 pm until 9:30pm. (North of Jefferson Blvd. and west of Centinela, which is west of the 405 Fwy.) Suggested donation is $10 to help pay for the room.
(Click here for map)

These are sure to be interesting evenings learning about and discussing the trait of high sensitivity. If you're an HSP, they'll be evenings of learning to understand yourself better, and if you're a Non-HSP you'll learn to better understand the Highly Sensitive People in your life. And, because HSPs make up about 20% of the population, you are sure to come into contact with many of them, so why not make the most of those relationships; social, business and romantic.

Some advice for the highly sensitive guy. We think it's important to have a well rehearsed favorite "opening line," such as "What brings you there tonight?" and we suggest that you have it well prepared and rehearsed, because that way while your HSP mind is processing the all incoming data about the lady you see, you can say something to her before she's already half way down the block!

Also guys, we strongly suggest you have a prepared favorite "closing line" at the ready, too. Something as simple as "I've enjoyed meeting you, can we do it again?" Because when you have a favorite closing line, ready at hand, you can deliver it before the valet has the time to put the lady in her car and she's half way home.

As Dr. Pat Allen and her co-author Don Guy say in their new Guy Survival e-books, and are available for to download from their website www.GuySurvival.com, "Oddly enough, some guys are afraid to pursue a female or even show they are interested, and this especially true for highly sensitive guys, and this frustrates women."

If you're a highly sensitive guy, there's more good information on the GuySurvival.com website in the form of downloadable e-Survival Tool e-books. I'm happy to say that in a couple of the books I was asked to contribute my thoughts about sensitive guys. And, because Dr. Pat Allen and Don Guy thinks this information about HSPs is so important, I've now been invited to write a separate e-Survival Tool e-book directed especially to the highly sensitive guy. Thank you Pat and Don!

Tip for sensitive single guys: Have well rehearsed opening and closing lines at the ready and when you see someone of interest, use them!

Check out this new DVD from Therapist Dr. Pat Allen. Good advice from a Cognitive Behavior Therapist who also happens to be a Highly Sensitive Person...

The Brand New DVD "The Answers from Dr. Pat Allen"

Get It Now on DVD! "THE ANSWERS" from Dr. Pat Allen DVD is the first-ever collection of her insights and philosophies from over 30 years of practicing couples counseling, her weekly jam-packed seminars, workshops, and various appearances on TV and radio. In this exciting new DVD, produced by former FOX News anchor and five-time Emmy Award-winner Barbara Schroeder, you can watch Dr. Pat Allen (who's HSP) on stage, in private therapy ssessions, and in an interactive section in which she answers the 20 most often-asked questions. Learn how to: • Reverse negative feelings immediately • Realize what the 5 "Curses" are in life, and the antidotes. • Get the quintessential primer on how to Duty Date® • Discover Dr. Allen's coveted negotiation tools • Hear Dr. Allen's foolproof formula on how to know if you really love someone Prepare yourself for better love and a better life!

Click here to visit www.DrPatAllen.com.

The book  Chopped Liver for the Loving Spirit by Jim Hallowes ...and Friends, includes the chapter "Loving Highly Sensitive People" about the trait of high sensitivity.  Chopped Liver for the Loving Spirit is a collection of stories including chapters by actor Dick Van Patten, Comedian Fred Travalena, and Heisman Trophy winner Les Horvath, and many others. Paperback, 272 pages. Published by Best-Seller Books. Click here to buy it from the On-Line gift Store.

Our hope is that with additional knowledge and insights about the trait of being highly sensitive, you will be more aware, informed and in tune to what are often predictable behavior patterns. We wish you the best of luck! And, we'd love to hear from you and get your thoughts and feelings on this important subject of relationships.

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